I am only an egg.

On December 28, 2012May 30, 2020 By StevenIn Life At Home, Life In Germany, The U.S.21 Comments

This post is tangentially related to the December 27th WordPress Daily Prompt.

“Your personal sculptor is carving a person, thing or event from the last year of your life. What’s the statue of and what makes it so significant?”

I was already thinking about the words that follow, even before I saw the prompt. While I didn’t write this post specifically to answer the personal sculptor question, I am going to talk a great deal about something that has shaped my world the most for the past year.

Back in 1993, there was an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation called “Second Chances.” The basic plot is as follows- The Enterprise goes to retrieve some scientific data from a planet which has an impenetrable distortion field around it. Once every eight years, the field is weak enough to beam through it. Eight years previously, a younger Lieutenant Riker was the last man to beam out when his team was forced to abandon the post. When the modern-day Enterprise arrives, Commander Riker leads the away team, and meets- himself.

Although Riker made it up to the Potemkin and continued his career, a transporter phenomenon caused an identical Riker to rematerialize on the planet. This Riker believed that he’d been left behind, and he spent the next eight years living alone.

The reason I’m talking about Star Trek on a blog about life in Germany is because it’s kind of the same thing. Obviously I don’t mean that I was duplicated in a transporter accident, but there is some similarity between that ludicrous scenario and how I feel. What the other Riker went through was, at certain points, textbook culture shock and acculturation.

While I was in the United States a few weeks ago, I was struck by the notion that while I’ve been living my life in Germany, life in the US has been going on without me. This is the truest and deepest cost of being an expatriate. Friends and family kept going on- my youngest niece started walking and talking. Another friend is nearly done with law school. People have gotten engaged. Couples have split up. Some of my friends have had massive shifts in their health, some for the better and some for the worse. There are new pets, new jobs, and new hardships. And while I was in Germany and away from all of this, there was a tiny part of me that went on living in the US, along with my friends and family. There are two Stevens now. They are entirely alien to each other.

I spent most of my first year in Germany feeling like I was on an extended vacation, but one where I just happened to be going to the office a lot. It felt like my life in the US had just been paused- waiting for me to return to it. My apartment has never quite felt like my apartment, and I’ve always been just a little bit of a stranger in a strange land.

It’s been more than a year now, and in the intervening time, I’ve felt less like that US life is mine. The drift has begun- I don’t speak to people in the States as much as I did in the first year. There are some people who I once considered my closest friends and confidants who I speak to now only via electronic means, and only regarding superficial topics. If not for the horrible abomination that is Facebook, I would have lost touch with almost everyone except my closest ring of family members and a few dearly cherished friends.

There is even a physical component to this drift- while I was in the US, I moved my few belongings to a much smaller storage unit. In order to do that, I had to let go of a lot of possessions. Most of my kitchen goods from the US are now gone. Everything I own in this world is either in a 5×5 storage unit in Florida or a 45 square meter apartment here in Regensburg. Considering I used to have an entire condominium full of crap, this is kind of a sobering realization.

I don’t feel like this Bavarian life is mine either. I’ve made friends here, but making friends as an expatriate can be a little tricky- most of us are transient. You never know if someone you’ve met will still be there to talk to or hang out with in six months or a year. I’m even hesitant with the locals, the people who aren’t going anywhere, because I don’t know if I’ll be here in a year or two. My contract is written through the fall of 2014, but there’s nothing in it which says that Mr. Company can’t recall me to the United States sooner. (They probably won’t, but it’s something that I think about.) There’s also the chance that they’ll want to renew my presence here at the end of the contract on a yearly basis. I’m not sure how I feel about that, to be honest. I get asked a lot if I want to stay here at the end of my contract, and my answer is always a little timid: “Ask me again in another year and a half. A lot can happen in a year and a half.”

For night now, I’m stuck in the middle. Beholden to two countries, but not truly feeling at home in either one. I am the two identical Rikers, both fighting to claim the right to be the real one.

Eighteen Days In The US

On December 17, 2012December 17, 2012 By StevenIn The U.S.9 Comments

I traveled to the US with a series of lists. I had places to go, people to see, food to eat, and crap to buy. In eighteen days, I drove my rental car over 1200 miles across three counties. Here’s why:

I had a Culinary To-Do List, because there are just some foods that have no good analog in Germany.

I ate at Friendly’s with Lorrie on my first night back in town. After a year in Germany, it was a little bit jarring to be handed the check before were finished eating.
I got my diner fix, including the aforementioned Friendly’s visit, the Moonlite Diner with Vicki and Ilona, iHop, and Denny’s (in which I ate the Gandalf’s Gobble from the Hobbit Menu. Hilarity ensued.)
I got proper Thai food, having dinner one weeknight at Chaiyo Thai with Vicki.
Plenty of good burgers were eaten, including Jack’s Old Fashioned Hamburgers, and Charm City Burgers, where I also fulfilled my tater tot needs while lunching with Marc.
I had lunch at Muddy Waters with Karen.
I met my Tex-Mex cravings by joining my brother and his boyfriend for Taco Tuesdaze at Tijuana Flats.
I had Sushi with Holly at Katana, a fantastic tiny Sushi place in North Miami Beach.
I had a proper and delicious steak with my elder brother at the local Longhorn.
I finally got around to trying The German Bread Haus, a German bakery on Commercial Boulevard, East of I-95. I brought some pastries into the office with me, and they were quite good.
I also ate at the Cheesecake Factory, the Melting Pot, Rotelli, Miller’s Ale House, TGI Fridays, and Jimmy Johns. I may be forgetting a few places- this trip was all about the food.

I had an Acquisitions To-Do List.

I stopped at Costco to get a ginormous bottle of Excedrine and some Flintstones chewables for myself. I also picked up some generic Sudafed, another thing I haven’t found a satisfying version of over here.
I managed to find a pair of New Balance shoes I liked to replace my aging and slightly less comfortable pair. I also picked up some more work pants and long sleeved t-shirts in Target.
I went back to the ski store in Delray Beach to get another scarf and wound up buying an awesome neck fleece that I already love beyond all reason.
I went to Abercrombie & Fitch to get a pair of sweatpants that Jenny asked me to bring back to Germany.
I also went to the grocery store for some other requests- I came back to Germany with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Nerds, and A-1 Steak Sauce.
As an aside, shopping makes me kind of looney. This results in bad product based puns. For example:

I had an actual task-based To-Do List.

I successfully moved my stored stuff from a 5×10 unit in one location to a 5×5 in another facility. The place I was using claimed to be climate controlled and pest controlled, but it was near a canal and the doors weren’t sealed very well. As a result, I had various droppings and former insects, frogs, and worms in and around my stuff, along with live silverfish in the books. As if that weren’t bad enough, there was already humidity damage starting to show on some of my books. The new facility is immaculate and completely indoors. Also, the smaller unit in the new facility will save me roughly $65 a month in storage fees. You can see what’s left in storage in the picture to the right, including my beloved coffee table.
I snagged an International Driving Permit. I don’t drive here, but if I need to, this could be handy.
I got a haircut at Kathleen & Company, the place I went to for eight years before I moved to Germany. I can get a haircut anywhere, but this place deserves loyalty.
I worked a week in the Florida office.
I went back to my Neurologist for a followup. I haven’t made the time yet to find a Neurologist in Germany.

I also had a Gatherings To-Do list, which originally contained just a few shindigs, but wound up including much more.

I drove out to Wellington for my sister’s fabulous Thanksgiving Extravaganza. In the past, our family has sometimes splintered off into different directions for Thanksgiving, but this year most of us were all in the same place. A small portion of the group is visible in this photo, including both of my parents, one of my brothers, my brother-in-law and his brother, my nephew, both nieces (2 and 22), and my niece’s boyfriend. Not pictured, but present: The other brother, my sister and my sister-in-law. Like I said, it’s a big and convoluted family, but we’re a fun group.
I went to a “Friendsgiving” dinner that was being held by John, another long time friend. I arrived between their dinner and dessert courses, which was perfect timing for chatting and being social. It also gave me the opportunity to give him one of the two Bavarian beers I brought with me from Germany. He was pleased.
I had a pair of birthday shindigs- one with friends, and one with family. The friends party was held on the Saturday night before my actual birthday- I had friends join me for a fantastic dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, Season’s 52, followed by some drinks at a Ft. Lauderdale Irish pub.
My aunt, uncle, and cousin were in Miami for a wedding and since the timing matched up, they joined part of the family for brunch on that Sunday.
Sunday night was the second birthday shindig- my father put together a dinner at another restaurant and I got to see more family there, including a few who weren’t at Thanksgiving dinner.
I have a lot of friends outside of Florida who I wanted to see, but I only had the time to travel to one other state. I took the dart-board approach to selecting who to visit, and I wound up going to Minneapolis to hang out with Debra, another old friend there. We had dinner in the Mall Of America, which I had never been to. That place is HUGE, and has a theme park in the middle of it. There are roller coasters. In a mall. Amazing.

Last but not least, the most important to-do list item of all was to remember to come back to Germany.

I’m On My Way

On December 10, 2012June 6, 2014 By StevenIn The U.S.4 Comments

This post is being written at 37,000 feet. In-flight Wi-Fi is a nifty, nifty technology. I’ll write up a proper trip report after I’ve gotten back home to Regensburg, though- I haven’t yet sorted my pictures or my thoughts from the last two and a half weeks.

In another five hours, I’ll be back in Munich. Another two hours after that and I’ll have collected my luggage, taken the 635 bus from MUC to Freising, and hopped a train from Freising back to Regensburg.

After that, I just have to try to stay awake until around bed time to stave off jet lag. Maybe I’ll finally get around to doing the homework from my German class that I’ve been putting off all vacation long.

Longer posts coming up, now that I’ll be back in town, and it’s snow and Glühwein season!

Still in the US.

On December 3, 2012April 11, 2014 By StevenIn The U.S.8 Comments

I’ve been back in the US for a week and a half now, with one more week to go before I head back to Deutschland. I’ve been making the most of my time, visiting with as many friends and family members as possible. In the first four days of my visit, I refilled the gas tank of the rental car twice from criss-crossing the lower three counties of Florida. I had Thanksgiving dinner at my sister’s place, and there were lots of dinners and brunches over my birthday weekend.

The rental car isn’t too bad on gas consumption. Since I was going to be in Florida, and away from the cold and damp of Germany, I opted to go topless for my choice of rental car:

…however, Florida is doing a pretty good job of making me want to leave again. I worked a week in the Florida office to stretch out my trip a little bit, and my commute to and from the office each day looked pretty much like the photo below. Lots of stopping, with an average top speed on I-95 of about thirty miles an hour.

Once I get into the office, though, things get better. I missed the sense of humor of my Florida co-workers though. It’s a really fun group. Here’s a small example… this is the hot-n-cold water dispenser in the office. In case it’s not clear, the little post-its say “Health” and “Mana.”

Speaking of things that I missed, there were tater tots. Oh, such tater tots. Despite the very wide variety of potato offerings in Germany, I haven’t ever seen tater tots there. Whenever I try to explain tots to a German, they always get this blank expression, and the always suggest rosti, croquettes, and making my own… it’s just not the same, though, and my culinary to-do list for this trip included proper tots. These little beauties are from a joint in South Florida called Charm City Burger.

Getting back to my birthday, I decided that I wanted to start my new year on the ocean, so I snagged a hotel room on Ft. Lauderdale beach. This is the view I woke up to on Sunday morning:

When I get back to Germany, it will probably be snowing. Oh well, at least the Christmas Markets are open now.

Sorry, Sorry…

On November 26, 2012November 26, 2012 By StevenIn The U.S.1 Comment

I neglected to prepare a post for today. I assumed that after four days back in the States, I would have a lot to talk about. However, I forgot to account for the fact that I would be so busy catching up with friends and family that I wouldn’t have time to actually sit down and write something before the very last minute. Oops!

I’ll get back to writing new material as soon as humanly possible. For now, however, I’ll just be over here eating this awesome cookie that was given to me as soon as I stepped off the plane on Wednesday.